My Transition into RM Life
*Disclaimer: I know there is a lot more to the transition
between full time missionary work, and post-mission life, but this is just a
small portion I thought I’d address :)
It’s expected coming home from the complete opposite side of
the world that there would be an affect, especially when the entire way home
you could not sleep!!! I knew I was so close to seeing my family, yet furthering
from the land I had come to love so much, and all the while surrounded by
people who I couldn’t speak their language with anymore (ex: Koreans instead of
Mongolians), and annoying little boys in the seat next to me, so I did NOT
sleep at all the whole 3 flights home. But, good for me, the secret to kicking
jet lag’s butt is to stay awake until the new bedtime you would like to have.
Then, FORCE yourself to get up at a decent time the next morning like 7 or 8 or
9 and then make yourself active and busy because you will be exhausted in every
way possible!! Keep this routine for a few days and you will be set.
Part 2 Getting
Released
I had a weird situation getting home. I got home on a
Thursday night, went all day Friday as a missionary still with my mom as my
comp, and Saturday morning was finally released. But getting released is kinda
strange. You are excited to begin RM life, sad to be ending mission life,
scared to death of what comes next, feelin loved and proud as your stake
president and family say nice things to you, and lots of other feelings. As my
stake president interviewed me about my mission, he told me how proud he was,
and read a letter from my mission president about me and my service and also
gave me a blessing as I began my new chapter. I felt an overwhelming
confirmation that the Lord accepted my service and that I had done a wonderful
work in Mongolia. I was touched deeply as I thought back on all the people I
had met and taught and helped. He then had me bare my testimony in English and
Mongolian, and boy was the spirit thick in the room. I felt all my emotions
about my mission hit me at once and I truly realized what a huge impact this
mission had made on me. I knew this was God’s plan for me, and I was so
incredibly grateful. And then the big moment hit… He asked me to take off my
name tag and told me I was officially released from being a full time
missionary, and I left with my family to begin that supa scary RM life…
You go through this strange period of fame in your ward.
Everyone knows who you are, misses you, wants to talk to you and drill you
about your mission. You give your homecoming talk and they all stare at you
with huge eyes and smiles on their faces. Everyone suddenly feels the need to
hug you which is super hard to adjust to- every old and young man alike want to
hug you, and well you’ll freak out on the inside as you haven’t even touched a
man in the last 18 months let alone hugged one… AHHHH! You are re-introduced in
every class. Suddenly you are booked for primary sharing time, achievement
girl’s day activity, young men and young women’s mutual, reporting to the high
council, and FHE’s. It’s kinda hilarious, mostly awkward as you are some star...
… but it goes away. In about a month some other missionary gets home and becomes the star or they just kinda forget, but they will eventually leave you alone, haha. In the meantime soak it in and take the opportunity to tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING about your mission, cuz pretty soon they’ll think you’re annoying if you share another mission story.
and you may feel like this... |
...or this... |
… but it goes away. In about a month some other missionary gets home and becomes the star or they just kinda forget, but they will eventually leave you alone, haha. In the meantime soak it in and take the opportunity to tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING about your mission, cuz pretty soon they’ll think you’re annoying if you share another mission story.
Part 4 Alone for the
FIRST TIME
ITS WEIRD. Straight up weird. You haven’t been alone for 18
months and now all of a sudden you have all kinds of freedom and people are
letting you go places by yourself. I found myself looking around wondering
where my comp was, and remembering I don’t have one anymore. I also found
myself wanting to be around my family 24/7 because I felt like I had to be with
someone. Oh, and following my mom or sister closely around the store as they
shop, and then realizing it’s okay to be alone… But, it’s also quite refreshing
to go shopping or for a drive or whatever by YOURSELF. No matter how awkward it
may feel, you will enjoy it. #feelinlikearebel And the feeling will go away.
Part 5 Clothing
The first moment you take off that skirt and put on that
magical pair of jeans or leggings is wonderful indeed...
I personally, ran out into the living room where my family was, started telling them excitedly “look, I have legs, I have legs….” As I kept touching my legs…. Truly a strange moment it was. And from every moment on, leggings and pants mean so much more to you. You feel as though you will never be parted from them again. Now, to prepare you, the closet. I remember opening my closet, which my mom had hung up all my clothing in before I got home, and I was in shock. I mean I had been wearing the same few skirts and dresses the last 18 months with an occasional lend from a comp… I felt completely overwhelmed as I stared at the shear amount of clothing I owned and then proceeded to try on every single piece, and give more than half of it away. You will go between emotions of hate for yourself for having so much unneeded stuff and pure joy because it’s like your own personal mall. Also, there may be one habit that will be difficult for you to break- the name tag. You will find yourself reaching for the name tag to put it on, but then go through a moment of disappointment as you realize that phase of your life is over and you won’t be putting it back on… sad. But, put it somewhere you can see it and be reminded of the 18 months you proudly wore it as a servant of God.
I personally, ran out into the living room where my family was, started telling them excitedly “look, I have legs, I have legs….” As I kept touching my legs…. Truly a strange moment it was. And from every moment on, leggings and pants mean so much more to you. You feel as though you will never be parted from them again. Now, to prepare you, the closet. I remember opening my closet, which my mom had hung up all my clothing in before I got home, and I was in shock. I mean I had been wearing the same few skirts and dresses the last 18 months with an occasional lend from a comp… I felt completely overwhelmed as I stared at the shear amount of clothing I owned and then proceeded to try on every single piece, and give more than half of it away. You will go between emotions of hate for yourself for having so much unneeded stuff and pure joy because it’s like your own personal mall. Also, there may be one habit that will be difficult for you to break- the name tag. You will find yourself reaching for the name tag to put it on, but then go through a moment of disappointment as you realize that phase of your life is over and you won’t be putting it back on… sad. But, put it somewhere you can see it and be reminded of the 18 months you proudly wore it as a servant of God.
Part 6 Culture Shock
This will be
different for everyone depending on where you served but let me give you a
little taste as to how it was. This is how it was for me:
-white
people everywhere…..where’s the diversity?
-why aren’t
the cars honking? It’s so quiet…
-it smells
weird (although I’m sure I was the funny smelling one)
-DOG!!! Pick
up a rock!!!! Oh, wait dogs are friendly here.
as one of my mission comps shows oh so well.... a washer is something you should NEVER take for granted! |
-the shower…
you are prepared for the cold water that you usually endure for the first 50%
of your shower, only to realize that its already warm…. What?
-carpet…..
my feet aren’t dirty or cold? What in the world?
-washers and
dryers----- the oh so real confusion when you can’t remember how they work… and
the awe as they come out so warm!!
-salad….
Without mayo, what?
-walmart…. I’ll
just leave it at that
-realizing I
don’t need to look down when I walk to keep from tripping over rocks or
something
-driving-
which pedal do I use again? How do I signal, or drive or …. Why is there no
traffic?
-money-it’s
all the same size and color? How do I tell the difference?
…the list never ends. Culture shock is a real thing, but it
goes away.
video chatting with old comps is the best way to keep those language skills up, and oh so fun! |
Part 8 Social Media
Getting back on social media and using technology is going
to be weird, exciting, sad, frustrating…. You will have forgotten how to use
some things, may not know how to use others as those updates came out while you
were gone, will be so happy to get in touch with old friends and add all those
new mission buddies, you will be so confused as you notice people with last
names you don’t know and then realize it was a friend who got married without
telling you while you were gone (thanks guys, not feelin forgotten at all),
blown away by all the friends who apparently have CHILDREN now, what?!!!!, and
so on. It will be weird. So put some restrictions on yourself. Don’t be an Instagram
or Facebook stalker, don’t be a NETFLIX binger, etc. Just use it to catch up
and whatnot. Don’t become an ADDICT.
Part 9 Calling
I made a list of goals coming off my mission and one of my
goals was to get a calling immediately. Throughout my mission, I learned that
what every new member or less active needs is the word of god, a friend, and an
opportunity to serve (aka a calling). And I’ve heard the statistics that 1 in
every 3 RM’s go less active and frankly, that was not going to be me. So, my first
Sunday back, I walked up to my Bishop, and asked, “Can I have a calling?” He
was a bit caught off guard and told me he would need to pray about it and let
me know. And my 3rd Sunday back, I was called as a ward missionary.
It’s definitely helped a ton!!!! Callings add to our purpose and busyness
factor, and it’s just plain nice to still be serving. You will have huge
yearnings to be back out teaching and preaching again, so having and magnifying
a calling will help fulfill that need. So, go get that calling!!!! Not to
mention the fact that as an RM, you now have very well honed skills available
to share and bless the lives of those in your new ward, so go serve!
Part 10 Work and School
The leadership of this church has strongly urged RM’s to get
busy after their mission. Whether that be school or work, get to it. It will
seem extremely overwhelming, but it is for your good. Like I said earlier, I got
home late on Thursday night, and Friday morning, very jet lagged, confused as
heck, and super awkward, I went to a job interview (with my mom in the room as
I had not been released and she was my companion and a name tag on my chest).
Well, let me just say it was the WORST job interview I had ever given, but the
Lord blesses his servants, and well, I got the job! #missionblessings And about
1 week later, I started working. I have been working full time since and it
truly has helped me. It’s kept me busy, given me a purpose, allowed me to save
for school, and forced me to transition socially as well! So do it. Go get that
job or head straight back to school!
Part 11 Social Life
and Dating
Guess I haven’t quite transitioned this phase yet. Hehe. I
am still working in my hometown where there just aren’t people my age to hang
out with. And absolutely no one to date either. I did try going to a couple YSA
FHE’s (where there were usually less than 10 people), and even a Regional YSA
event a couple hours south, but not super major social stuff or dating at all,
so I guess I’ll let you know when I get there on this one, or leave this one to
you to figure out. Amjilt! J
Part 12 Personal
Study and Prayers
I have found this to be the most important part because you
were doing it all for 18 months! Personal study for an hour a day, comp study,
language study, prayers constantly, teaching the gospel constantly, and reading
the scriptures in the extra time… now, I have other things occupying my time.
My calling, my family, college prep stuff, my full time job, etc. I have had to
find a time that works each day to read my scriptures. Some weeks it was during
my lunch break, some weeks before I got to sleep, some weeks in the morning
when I wake up, and well, it doesn’t matter when you are doing it during the
day, but the point is you need to be doing this. You need to read the Book of
Mormon every day and pray as much as possible. I admit I am not perfect and
some days it is a struggle, but I have found that as I make the time, my day
turns around and I am 100% happier and more at peace. Keep close to the Lord by
doing these two simple things and you will be blessed, your testimony will
strengthen and you will not be shaken. I can promise that.
This is by far the hardest part, I’ve found. You’ve spent
the last 18 months giving your all to a people in a far off land, and by doing
so witnessed miracles. Miracles in others as well as yourself. You grew and
changed and developed and became a whole new person. Through serving the Lord,
you became converted. You fell in love with the people, the country, the culture,
and the language where you served so diligently. This is expected, and just
know you will miss them. You will miss absolutely everything about your mission
and think about it a lot. You’ll find yourself wishing you were still there or
being a little jealous of the missionaries who haven’t finished yet. It’s
totally okay to feel this way. But don’t let it consume you. You shouldn’t feel
depressed because you finished. This is a happy thing. Instead channel these
emotions into other things. For example, continue to study the language or
write letters to your converts or others you taught to encourage them. Find a
way and do it. Miss your mission, but don’t ever feel regret or sadness or
guilt. You did well, you served the Lord and his people, and you’re not done
serving. The Lord still has a work for you to do, but now it’s where you are
working or studying. It might be your neighbor, or classmate, or coworker, but
someone needs you now. Continue to be the amazing missionary you are, even
without the name tag.